Moment

That moment when you're left crying in your room.

That moment when you're rationalizing every detail. That moment when you're standing in his kitchen with boxes of his things. That moment when you make it to the end of the street before breaking down. That moment when you 'take a personal day' to deal with your feelings.

That moment when you find someone to take the pain away. That moment when things are moving fast. That moment when you're standing in the pouring rain in a kiss.

That moment immediately after when he realizes it was wrong. That moment when you walk the mile home alone. That moment when you look at yourself, drenched, in the mirror. That moment when you're going to be fine.

Close your eyes. Let your tears roll like raindrops on a window pane. Dream of childhood washing away, Like our chalk drawings on the sidewalk. Tomorrow will be better.

One Thing You Can't Do

You can kiss me. You can hold my hand. You can put your arms around me, in the park on a spring evening. You can laugh with me. You can make me smile. You can bring me flowers, that you picked yourself. You can tell your friends how great I am. You can sing a song for me. You can even tell me you adore my passion, even though it just gets me into trouble. But there's one thing you absolutely can not do. You can not say you love me. 'Cuz you're sweet, And kind, And funny, And cute, And I like you, And I know you care for me. But so did all the others. I'm the girl they "loved" for a while. The girl they promised the moon, the stars. The girl they made fall head over heels. The girl they got tired of sooner or later. Falling apart is so easy to do, So let's not do it, And don't ever tell me you love me.

My Fairytale Dream Come True

Ah! How lovely it is indeed to be engaged! :) A tumultuous and insane road love is, but what a fairytale and wonderful path it is also. I have so many dreams to be realized, including sealing the deal in, of course the happiest place on earth! Walt Disney World. I am a princess at heart so why not have my happily ever after?


The Transportation. Cinderella's magic pumpkin carriage pulled by six Welch ponies! Magical!


The Ceremony. Held at Disney's very own Wedding Pavilion on the secluded Seven Seas Lagoon. So intimate and gorgeous.


The Aisle. Inside the pavilion with a view of Cinderella castle through the gorgeous stained-glass window.


The Dress. From Alfred Angelo's Disney Fairytale Wedding collection, inspired by Ariel from The Little Mermaid.


The "I do."


The Happily Ever After.

Dear Mother,

You won't listen to me when I speak, so maybe you'll listen to me when I write. You acting this way is just so incredibly hurtful, there are no words. I simply can not believe you would act this way to your own daughter that you claim to care so much about. You are basically making me choose between you, and my own happiness for myself. And I can't believe you would do that.
Yes, I DO remember EVERYTHING Tre AND I have done to wrong each other. It was NOT one-sided, and I remember it VERY clearly. I was there. And YES, that WAS a part of my very careful deliberation of getting back together with Tre. I did not just make a spur of the moment decision. I thought this out very carefully.
I. Love. Him.
He. Loves. Me.
However difficult that may be for you to comprehend, THAT'S the bottom line. We're young, yes, but we love each other. We both decided to split up to see other people. I did, and it didn't feel right for Justin to kiss me or hold me. And Tre never even got close to another girl for the same reason. NOT because he couldn't "get any" it was because he didn't want to. I saw plenty of girls TRY to hang all over him and it astonished me that he never even flirted back. I told you that he did to tell myself that I no longer loved him. But I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn't happy without him.
I know you will never understand this because of the hurt he caused me, but the fact of the matter is, people fight. People say mean things to each other out of anger, hurt, and fear. I DO remember things Tre said to me. He only said them in retaliation to the terrible things that I had said about him first. Of course I wasn't going to tell you that part. But that aside, People fight and break up. It doesn't mean they've changed because as you've said yourself, they never change. What's important is that you realize that you love each other and only want to be with each other. And it's just taken us a little while to swallow our pride and do just that.
I fully understand how and why you feel the way you do. I would too if it were my daughter. But also, what I would do if it were my daughter is TRUST that she knows what is right for her, not right for me, and I would support her. Because I know how much it hurts to not be supported by someone as important to a girl as her mother.
You say he will "do it again", but how will I know if i don't take a chance?
You say I am a fool. Jane Austen said "we are all fools in love."
Please for one second, think about being 18, 17, 16. Think about how you felt when dad kissed you. When he held you. When he told you he loves you. How did you feel? You felt butterflies, you felt giddy. Will it last? You didn't know. Will he hurt you? You didn't know. Will your family like it? You didn't care. You took the leap of faith. We ALL must at some point if we are to achieve happiness in our lives. Love does NOT come to the cautious.
As for our current state of our relationship: I love you so much. I always will. And I value your opinion so much, which is why this is so hard for me that you are acting like this. You say he will hurt me, but right now, YOU are hurting me. HE is trying to comfort me from the pain YOU are causing me. It hurts to hear you call me stupid. It kills me to hear you say you disown me. It hurts to not hear you say anything to me at all. This should be the happiest time of my life! I'm 18, I'm graduating, I'm going to prom with my best girl friend, and I'm in love. But you're going to turn it into the worst time of my life because of your pride and scorn. And although I full understand it, it is also fully unacceptable. When considering reuniting with Tre, my one true love, I had to think most about not if I could ever forgive him or if I could trust him, but whether or not YOU will make my life a living Hell. That is terrible that I should even have to consider that. I shouldn't have to thnk about anyone's feelings but my own. Pam supports me. Like everyone else should. My friends were skeptical, but once they saw the way me and Tre look at each other, they understood we belong to each other. Everyone can "do better." The fact is, I love him. And I love you. And I DESERVE to have you both. I deserve your support. This silent treatment, this "I'm kicking you out in June" is only going to push me away. I don't want that and neither do you. I love you and our whole family. I just wish youcould be more open to understand like me and Pam are. I haven't changed. Neither have my goals. I'm still graduating, going to UNCC, becoming a teacher, everything I wanted. Tre isn't holding me back from anything.
In fact, he's most accomodating. He's terrified of you, but he's willing to come grovel at your feet and earn your approval back. Because he loves me and it kills him to see me in tears because my mother won't speak to me because I refuse to choose between your happiness and my own. I love you very much and the last thing I want is for our amazing relationship to be ruined because you can't forgive. If I have forgiven and moved on, you should be able to as well.
I understand how youfeel, but now YOU need to understand how I feel. I hope this note enlightened you to how hurt I've been by this whole situation. I hope you can talk to me again, and I hope you realize that I know what I'm doing and that I need to follow my heart. Please understand. I need my mother.

Love,
Samantha

You and I - Lady Gaga

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me, oh
I'd give anything again to be your baby doll
This time I'm not leaving without you



You said sit back down where you belong
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we
Made love the first time and you said to me this



Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah something about, baby, you and I



It's been two years since I let you go,
I couldn't listen to a joke or rock 'n roll
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
On my birthday you sang me a heart of gold
With a guitar humming and no clothes
This time I'm not leaving without you
Ooh-oh ooh-oh



Sit back down where you belong
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we
Made love the first time and you said to me this



Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah something about, baby, you and I



You and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You, you and I, I
You and I
You, you and I
Oh yeah!
I'd rather die
Without you and I



C'mon!
Put your drinks up!



We got a whole lot of money, but we still pay rent
'Cause you can't buy a house in Heaven
There's only three men that I'm a serve my whole life
It's my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Christ



Something, something about the chase
Six whole years
I'm a New York woman, born to run you down
So have my lipstick all over your face
Something, something about just knowing when it's right
So put your drinks up for Nebraska
For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love you



You and I
You, you and I
Baby, I rather die!
Without you and I



You and I
You, you and I
Nebraska, I rather die
Without you and I



It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you.

Mr. Nice Guy

Yeah, it's really cool how you show up out of nowhere,
And tell me how much you miss me.
Conveniently after my last love left.



Yeah, it's really cool how you tell me all these things,
Knowing how I am,
Knowing I'll just fall for you.



It's just so cool how you gave me all the right signs,
And told me all the right things.



And you're just so cool,
For going along like this for weeks,
Only to tell me on the phone...



...Like a coward...



That you really don't "feel that connection" at all.
And that I was just a booty call.
And you didn't MEAN to send those signals.



I'm so very sorry,
I must have misinterpreted the part where you kissed me,
And said "I like you a lot."



Yeah, you're so very cool.
Don't you feel great now Mr. Nice Guy?



But you wanna know what,
Mr. Nice Guy?



I'm completely fine.



Cuz I'm beautiful, independent, smart, and wonderful.
And I'll be just fine without you.
I don't need you Mr. Nice Guy,
To do all the things that I want to do in life.
I don't need you Mr. Nice Guy,
To know that I am special.
I don't need you Mr. Nice Guy,
To be happy.
I don't need you Mr. Nice Guy.
I don't need you.